What I am grateful for...

Ok here goes:

1.  Family - many is the time I've thought that life was just too much and seemed endlessly sad, and what has always brought me through those periods in my life has been the love, care and patience of my family.  My kids, my husband, my brother and his extended family, my cousins, all the people I call family, have been so important. I try their patience and test them sometimes to the limit, but they are always there.  I like to think that the bonds of love are strong enough to get us through anything. I hope I will always be there for them too, not just in bad times, but also to share the celebrations and joy.

2.  Friends - I am so very fortunate. I have friends that I believe will last forever. The friendships I have are like the family that I have chosen, rather than inherited. Some of the friends in my life have been there for 50 years, and some for just a few years. All of them understand the importance of maintaining connections and whether they are in the States, in Holland, Italy, Germany, India,or the UK, the wonderful thing is that every time we meet it still feels like yesterday.  True friendships have the quality of  conversations that you can pick up at any point. I also love that my disparate group of friends all know 'me' in their own unique way. I hope I am a good friend, I certainly value what my friends bring to my life. My friends challenge me to be better than I sometimes believe I am- they inspire me to be more, do more and expand my boundaries.

3.  Teachers - I can hardly begin to express my gratitude for the wonderful teachers I have met in my life, for the enlightened, inspired and loving people I have had the privilege of learning from.  All the way back to my 10 year old self encouraged by my teacher to become an artist, to thepresent day teachers I have the honour to also call friends.  Without the learning, the help and sometimes the interventions of those beloved people, I would not be where I am now. I certainly would not have any inkling of the capacity I have for creativity and happiness. My true teachers have taught me things that have challenged me and have caused me to understand that it is not always about being right, but being able to distingusidh what is right for me. My  best and most adored teachers, those from whom I have learned the most, have never set themselves up as perfect, they have always acknowledged their own flaws and their own struggle.This has been an inspiration.

4.  Home - I love my home.It is a safe,warm,welcoming environment that cuddles me when I am low, envelopes me when the winter sets in and is a place that I can fling open doors to friends and family. We have created a place that is chaotic and full of madness and eccentricity that reflects me and my priorities. It has alwaysbeen so important to me to have a bolthole, a  place of retreat and I love the fact that my children feel this too. Sanctuary - not always peaceful, but always there. Not the tidiest place in the world, but with a full cookie jar and a well-stocked fridge!

5,   Being Jewish - wow,what to say here. Not religious, not a member of any affiliated congregation except the Universal congregation of a people older than time. An ethical,life-affirming culture that has helped to form me. I am an ethical human being, I try to do the right thing by people, I try to be just and to treat people with care and respect. I believe this stems  from thousands of years of belonging to a race/culture/religion that encourages each individual to leave the world a better place by each individual's existence.  The concept of 'tikkun olum" - to heal the world-  is a  spectacular ethos to live by.  I love the spirit and goodness this brings me.  It also means I can cook a mean dinner and rustle up a banquet pretty quickly!  

7. My father - as he loses himself to dementia I have such warm and heartful love for him. He never felt that what he did for his family was too much. He always looked for the best in people and I was able to learn a big lesson from him in trust. My mother, as loving as she was, bless her, was less trusting and more suspicious of the world. My dad always looked for the good in people and was sometimes disappointed but generally lived and continues to live a contented life. He is as loved by all of us as he loves us. I am so grateful that he is here to enjoy his great-grandaughter and see his family  established in the world. It is the least he deserves for what he has given us.      

6.  My husband Ralph - when we met over 40 years ago in Amsterdam  I  knew immediately that he was the person I wanted to spend my life with and to have my children with. I am not psychic and have no powers to see the future, but there was something in his eyes that reflected the heart and the goodness of this man. I love him.  it is simple, it transcends all the rows, all the bad timesand all the painful times we have experienced together. My heart is welded to his and I am extraordinarily and ecstatically blessed to be with this good, good man. He has made me more than I am and given me space to discover that by myself. His integrity shines through him and is generously shared with all those he touches.

7.  My two adult children - wonderful, fine human beings with big hearts and sensitive souls that add to the world.  As they stride forth into their own futures I am filled with admiration for who they are and how they are in relation to others, Because of the way they are I get to learn to be a good mother. I am also grateful that they don't take me too seriously, so I can get the world into perspective.  I  also love the fact that they truly love and care for each other so beautifully.

Finally I am grateful to me, to my strength, my survivor spirit and my heart. it's taken 60 years to get here. The journey has been painful and sometimes felt insurmountable,but damn, I am courageous, and am gratefulfor the spirit that means I continue to try to  be more than I am at present - as my primary school teachers used to say 'to fulfill my potential". I am extraordinarily grateful to be alive.