Some Inspirational Teachers

Now that I've reached the grand old age of 60 it seems appropriate that I begin to look back on my life and try to identify and remember some of the people who have inspired me. I have to go back a long way to remember some of my teachers and of course, I will have to leave out some, for the sake of brevity, but at least I can begin.

As a little girl I loved to draw. My family circumstances were such that we had no spare money and no such things as sketchbooks or pads of paper. I was always getting into trouble because I would doodle and sketch on every available surface. This included walls, bedsheets, bookplates, in other words, anywhere.  It was my Uncle Willy who spotted my need to draw and began to bring me offcuts of paper from the print factory he worked in.  He was also the one person in my family who would look at my childish scribbles and treat them as if they were serious works of art. He would point out things that were done well and give me hints on lettering and spacing. He always respected the budding artist in me and encouraged me all the time. I made him birthday cards for years and loved being there to watch him open them. When I was learning calligraphy it was my uncle I turned to for approval and criticism. He was endlessly patient and giving.

When I was in elementary school, at about 10 or 11 years old, I decided that I really did want to be an artist and wanted to go to the High School of Music and Art in Manhattan.  I was a naive kid from the Bronx and I don't think I even knew where Manhattan was. In order to get into the school I had to sit an all day exam that involved academic testing and drawing and painting. I also had to submit of portfolio of artwork.  At home, in our tiny apartment,  I had little space or material to do this.  One of my teachers, her name was Mrs. Turek, saw how much I wanted to go to this particular secondary school  and also saw how talented I seemed to be.  She set up early morning sessions for me at school for months so I could get a portfolio together.  I would go to school at 7.45 am and she would be there with a hot drink and paints and paper and praise.  Looking back I can see how amazingly special she was.  Now I can thank her, then I don't think I saw the enormity of what I had been given.

Throughout my troubled adolescence I had many influences, many friends and many teachers. What stands out above all is that I met Ralph when I was 19 and from the moment we met he inspired me to be more beautiful, more creative, more loving, more generous and more confident than I believed I could be.  He still does. Enough said.
In 1970 I moved to London and had my daughter. From the moment she was born I started learning from her - how to be a mother, how to listen, how to enjoy her delight in the world and how to love more and more. Sometimes I think I was a lousy pupil, but she just kept teaching and inspiring.  My daughter still teaches me about self-esteem and courage and love.

In 1972 I embarked on a long, still continuing journey of self-discovery.  One of the first teachers I met on that journey was then called Denny Yuson and is now called Veeresh.  He  literally jumped into my life and exploded it.  He has saved me more times than I can remember. He taught me the joy of friendship and the meaning of heartfulness. He was always there regardless of time or place and he pushed me to be more than I believed I could be.  I am grateful beyond words and even more pleased that we are now such old friends.

Veeresh also brought me to Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh/Osho and for more than the next decade I was a disciple of this beautiful, magnetic, enlightened master. I found ways of going inside myself and discovered an inner world of meditation and purity that I never suspected existed.  Imagine finding a continent on Earth that was hidden and secret and suddenly your tour guide helps you cross a bridge and leads you there. This is what I am so thankful for. I might have found my way myself, but I will never know...

In 1983 my son Ben was born and 16 months later he died.  I never write this down. I hardly allow myself to think about Ben, but I really clearly see how much love he brought me and how much I learned from his short time here about trust and opening to uncertainty. Both his life and his death ultimately taught me something special. I learned about my own strength and love. In 1985 when my new son was born I had learned so much about softness and sadness and loving and it helped me to be a better mother and a more open soul. Ben paved the way for me to have another son and be a better mother.

My son now teaches me patience and love and balance.  He displays a remarkable facility for friendship that is an on-going lesson to me.

I think I will stop and carry on another time.  I get tearful and emotional remembering so many wise and loving spirits that have graced my life and are part of me now.  The list is actually endless and the few I have named are nowhere near the many I hold in my heart. Living is such a precious blessing, I am surprised my heart doesn't burst with the fullness of it.

I will continue on another day...