Conversations

I found this quote from Alexander Lowen,

"As one grows older, the sense of separateness is slowly reduced.  Old people do not live on an ego level.  Their concerns are not about their individuality but about the river of life, the family, the community, the nation, people, animals, nature, life. They can die easily if they are assured that life will continue positively, for they feel part of the river again, and soon they will be part of the ocean.  When they are very old, they no longer belong to our time and space, but to all time and space."

Sitting in Starbucks and eavesdropping on the conversation of a group of young women, I found myself quietly laughing.  The women were pretty, sounded reasonably intelligent and were well-dressed.  They were probably about 17-19 years old.  What amused me so much was the number of times in a short conversation they used the word 'like'.

"I think we could start like a blog and we could like call it film guru.  We'd like go to see a bunch of movies and like each write what we thought of them.  It would be like good if we didn't like see the others' opinions cause like we don't want to be like influenced by each other."

Is it a sign of age that I  found this conversation so funny?  I think it is.  I remember using the word like in exactly the same way at the same age.  I guess it was a way of punctuating sentences, of giving us time to think, used in a similar way to um, ah... I grew out of using like and I expect that these young women will do too.

After this I was on the train today going to pick up my snazzy new glasses and I was sitting behind two white-haired ladies, obviously from out of town, discussing their trip to the big city.  "The toilet at Victoria cost 50 pence! 50 pence! In Devon you can use the toilet for free.  It's not the same country it once was.  I hardly recognise it anymore."

 

Sometimes I overhear these little conversations and realise how little silence there is in the world.  We chatter and chatter all the time as if we are desperate to fill the spaces between words.  It's as if in those spaces we might get a little glimpse of our true selves and most people run from that possibility.  Living in London there is little opportunity for genuine silence. Maybe this is one of the reasons I choose to live in the city. 

Yesterday I saw a flyer for a silent retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh, a wonderful Buddhist teacher. For the first time ever, I am tempted to spend the best part of six days in silence and mindful meditation.  Just like I've grown out of the need to add like to every sentence I speak, I think I've also begun to outgrow my need for noise. 

In silence I can begin to meet myself.  I've said this before and see that it's true, that I am no longer so frightened of the self I'll meet in the silence and I don't have so many fears about what I'll find in the spaces of silence. I have to spend a few days thinking about this. it's a new idea.  I think I'll let it grow for awhile.

1. As an 'um' or 'er' word. For example, 'It was, like, really cool', or 'How can I fail English? I'm, like, fluent'.
2. To express a thought or feeling while relating a situation to others. This is expressed in either the present or past tense, even though the event has already occurred. For example, 'And I was like: "Get away from me you freak!"'.
3. To express something said while relating a situation to others. See note above for tense information. For example, 'And I was like: "Get away from me you freak!"' (Yes, it's the same quote as above.)
4. To express something which the speaker feels that the listener ought to know telepathically. This is often, but not always, used in conjunction with the either the question 'you know?', or the question 'y'know?'. For example, 'It was, like, y'know?'.
5. To partially confer the qualities of a, possibly strong, adjective onto the subject. In this usage it mirrors one of the actual dictionary uses, but is very easily confused with its usage in definition one. For example, 'He was, like, insane.
6. To express anything else.