Being right...

As an older Jewish woman I take it as my birthright that I will go through life with opinions, judgments and a sense of being right.  I have a point of view about everything, even things I know little about.  This is not so unusual in today's world.  Many people know very little about a lot of things, thanks to the internet, television and the perpetual bombardment of information we live with. I do not necessarily see this state of affairs as positive or negative, it just is.

It's strange how many of the women I know have strong opinions, how many of them perceive themselves as right.  Is this because I surround myself with these strong-willed women, or because we are actually right most, if not all, of the time?  I think it is more likely the former.  I am definitely attrracted to people who have ideas, opinions and a well-defined sense of self.  Most of the time this is a plus.  It makes life's journey more dynamic  and interesting and is  a spur to innovation and creativity, but occasionally I see how fraught this can become.

What to do when the women I know are all right and yet, all have different ideas about the same things, people or places?  I try to see all sides of discussions and hear people out.  I often go away with a third, fourth or even fifth opinion of my own and feel that those are also right.  It makes it difficult to have calm, measured discussions and sometimes makes me feel like I'm stuck in the middle (being right too, of course).

What is the answer to this?  Is it to relate only to men?  Nooooo! Most of the ones I know do not consider themselves always right as much as considering their women friends, partners and relations as always wrong.  What the hell is going on?  If women see themselves as right and men see them as wrong how do we ever have satisfactory balanced relationships?

In the long term none of this matters if all the people I know, whether male or female, see themselves as part of one huge family.  Once we translate all behaviour into familial, it begins to make more sense to me.  Not all of us can be the parents and sometimes we have to be siblings.  In my house, my mother was dominatingly right and my father was passive.  This was unpleasant and did not make for a home where there was any equality.  It meant that my father was often overlooked and ineffective and yet, he was the stronger of the two. Maybe the real answer is to be quietly strong, to know who we are and allow others to be who they are.

After all, we have little choice in this.  The families we have created and the families we were born into ultimately end up in the same sad way if we forget to love each other and don't allow everyone the right to be 'right'.  This is just the way it is, and I'm for sure right on this.