So love really is the answer...

"That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look.  Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth -- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way  – an honorable way  – in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, "The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory...."

These are the words of Viktor Frankl from his book 'Man's Search for Meaning'.  This is the book he wrote following his liberation from a concentration camp.I believe, and I am not alone in this, it is one of the most important books of the 20th century.

Now read that passage again - does it resonate with you? Can you relate to the idea of love being the ultimate meaning for your life?  I don't necessarily mean the love for one person, for a spouse or child, or even a pet, but the sense and the depth of feeling of warmth, care and compassion for others that drives us to create masterpieces, build cities and rescue strangers trapped in rubble or run back into burning buildings to save a small creature or even to survive the nightmare of a concentration camp.  The love that encompasses genuine compassion and forgiveness is something so precious and so necessary to us human beings that it is like water or air - part of the fabric of life.

Without love and human touch we are like unwatered sun-deprived flowers. We wither and die. During the Second World War it was noticed that there were infants in hospitals that were given adequate medical care, food and shelter and yet, they failed to thrive and some even died.  On investigation what was discovered was that the placement of baby cribs made a difference to survival.  The babies in the cribs near ward doorways were touched and held by passing nurses more often than those at the far end of the ward and those touched were the infants who survived. The children who died were suffering from 'marasmus' - a failure to thrive,  and what became clear was that human touch made the difference between life and death.

One of my greatest friends and teachers runs an institute in Holland where people can explore their human development and growth of their psyche and spirit in a nurturing environment. This sounds a bit hokey, but it is really a community devoted to teaching that 'love is the answer'.  Veeresh, the man who at the top of the organisation called The Humaniversity, has always had this as his vision. Whatever else goes on in this community, the bottom line is the vital connection and love amongst all its residents, training participants and staff members. This love is a healing medicine.

When I think back on my life, it is the loving connections that mean something. The friendships I have made and the family I am close to are what has pulled me through tough times. What a safe place the world feels when you know that there are many people who will pull you out of a tight spot and will be there with help and love and hugs and chicken soup.
It's not a matter of luck that I feel loved and love so much. It is a sense of responsibility and choice.  I am a citizen of the world and therefore have to develop and grow my ability to respond.  When I feel totally desolate I still have choices. I can move towards the part of me that is so wonderful and so strong and knows, really deeply knows, that love is the answer and that nothing else feels so alive and full of hope.

I try to present this together image of myself to the world. I would love to be seen as a together, dynmaic career woman - someone independent and capable and completely in control. Ha! Really I am also a giant soft marshmallow, living in a world of clouds and unicorns and rays of sunshine and sentimentality.  Love is the answer and as Viktor Frankl points out,  our salvation is through love and in love. Only this can bring us to a true place of forgiveness and acceptance.

Today is Holocaust Memorial Day.  Please hug someone.