Defining luck

It's 8.30 am and I'm sitting in my brother's house in Connecticut on the day I should have been flying back to the UK.  Instead I will have my breakfast, unpack a few clothes already packed to leave and visit my dad in hospital.  Not the original plan for this week, but to quote a number of people - "it is what it is".

In the past two days so many people have told me how 'lucky' I am that my dad got sick now rather than after I had gone home or even before I had come here.  This got me thinking about how people actually define luck.  Is it lucky that my dad is bleeding from unnamed parts, is it lucky that we had to spend 8 hours on Friday in the emergency room, is it lucky that my father is still bleeding and is lying in this bed waiting for all sorts of medical interventions?  Maybe I have the wrong definition of luck. (See entry on Mazel)

It's hard for both my brother and myself to see my father all rigged up to tubes and wires lying in this bed.  My dad was mostly a vision in movement to me.  He rarely sat still when I was young,  He was always going somewhere, doing something or arriving in a whirlwind.  In recent years he has slowed down and his dementia has meant that he is gradually coming to a halt.  This is different.  He is conscious, a little distressed and heartbreakingly, accepting with good nature, all the poking and prodding that hosputal admissions involve. I am hope ful that we will have a good outcome and take him back to his home early in the week.

Watching the mechanics of American hospitals has been fascinationg, as has talking to Americans about their view of the UK health system.  It is very different, but I do notice that my father in 48 hours has had more doctor visits, tests and procedures done on him than my mother-in-law at a similar age, had done for her in three weeks in a UK hospital.  My father is 87 and is being treated as if he were a young man with a fine quality of life.  I am impressed, but also aware that my dad has good insurance coverage.  All discussions here revolve around the politics of medical care and I idealistically believe that health and quality of life should be outside the political realm. It has proved an interesting side distraction.

Staying on in the States for a few more days used to be fun - a chance to go sightseeing, shopping, eat great American junk food.  Not so at the moment.  We are now in this pattern of grab something unsatifying but filling to eat in the vicinity of the hospital, go see my dad, drive home, space out in front of the TV, sleep, and start the whole 'groundhog day' again.Why do hospital canteens specialise in carbohydrate-laden foods?

Is it lucky?  Yeah, I guess so.  Lucky that I love my brother and sister-in-law and feel we support each other, lucky that I don't have to frantically try and get here from London in a hurry, lucky that my father does not seem too troubled by his current situation, lucky that his doctors seem capable and nice, lucky that my friends all over the world care for me and stay connected...I guess it depends on how we define luck.

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