In the early hours of the morning...and the next day

Sitting with friends, laughing, exchanging stories, sitting in meetings, having dinner together - so far this weekend has been just what I needed.  This morning I baked a cake, took a walk, wrote up a complaints procedure in an understandable fashion, went to a graduation that took three hours, listened to what felt like a million speeches and even shed some tears. I don't usually do this much in a day and then I followed that by hanging out some more with my friends and just got in to my room - it's 3 am Dutch time (relevant since I am in Holland) and even though it's been a wonderful day, I can't seem to call an end to it because something is missing.

The something that's missing is not something, it's someone.  I miss my husband.  I have many, many close and loved friends here.  I value their friendship and I believe they value mine.  Yet, at the end of the day, when I turn around, I want to be with my husband. I want to be able to say goodnight, to talk over our day and just be with him.

Well - it's now the next afternoon and somehow last night finally faded into this morning and again we shared, laughed, got serious, consoled each other and celebrated out triumphs together. The sun finally came out over Egmond aan Zee and I finally got to walk into the village.  Seaside towns have a sameness about them - the light and air is the same and even the little shops selling millions of useless things, but I always enjoy the kitsch cuteness of it all and of course, the Dutchness of it.

As our Gathering weekend draws to a close for another year I see that we all go on with our lives and at this point, are almost always able to choose for positivity and joy.  There comes a point in life, or at least my life, where constantly choosing the dark, negative side is just a drag.  If I don't want to be around me in those moments, why would I think it is attractive to others.

This morning my old friend, Veeresh, spoke about gratitude.  I have been busy looking at this since I started writing this blog way back in December and it seems fitting that I once again list some of the things I am grateful for:

1.  I am grateful for the sun shining today
2.  I am grateful for the many friends I have
3.  I am grateful for being able to be here this weekend
4.  I am grateful for my beloved husband
5.  I am grateful for laughter
6.  I am grateful for the ability to laugh and cry
7.  I am grateful for the wonder of writing
8.  I am grateful for my family
9.  I am grateful for my willingness to learn
10.I am grateful for a beautiful, heart-filled weekend

That seems to be enough to be getting on with for now.  Oh, I forgot one thing.  I am truly grateful for my wonderful friend, Pujarin, for encouraging me many years ago to start to write.  I think of you every day, Puj, as I sit down to write this blog.  It is such a gift. Thank you.