Yuk, Yuk and more

Opening my cleaning chakra is an ugly affair.  Now it is early evening.  I feel like I have been clearing and cleaning throwing things away and finding right places for ovbjects in wrong places, for at least seven hours.  I HATE THIS!

I cannot express how much I hate doing this.  I cannot stand finding places for fiddly little bits. Single knitting needles, crochet hooks, small amounts of American money, Euros, dollars, receipts, old travel tickets needed for taxes, tubes of mints, packets of sweetener, nail files, scissors, needles, odd earrings (these are sneaky - just  when you throw away one, the other shows up), dental floss, toothbrushes, aspirins, pen, more pens, even more pens, pencils, rubber bands, stamps, business cards, beads, fabric scraps - the list is endless and so is the clearing process. 

I decided that my usual unsystematic way of doing things was not a successful process.  Therefore, today I decided that the only way to go was area by area, clear and clean one tiny corner and then move on to the next area.  This meant that today I did not even touch the mountain of Everest proportions that is made up of my clothes.  I am itchy, sneezing and so totally and completely fed up that I feel like I will explode with distress and upset.  I do not want to be doing this and yet, I am fully aware that all this mess is of my own creation.  100% of it is mine.  I can blame no one and can ask no one else to clean it up.  Who else will know which of the fifty lipsticks I should keep or throw away?  Who else but me will know when to give up the idea that I will actually read all those paperbacks I have been hoarding gathering dust in the corner? 

You would think I would learn from this.  That I would remember this feeling of disgust and not create piles and corners again, but I expect that I will backslide.  The trick here is to not start messing up the clean corner before I get to the other areas of the room.

Many people I know will find it hard to believe that I am such a slob, a secret slob in some cases, but those in the 'in-crowd' have seen this room.  Some have even helped clean it and usually I keep it well hidden from public eyes, but now this it it.  I am coming out of the closet - and so are all my clothes.  How many socks does one woman need?  How many nail files, toothpicks, spools of thread, odd buttons?  I have had enough. 

There is a clear and present danger now.  I am tired, allergic and very pissed off.  The danger is that I begin to throw away perfectly useful things for expediency.  I have done this before so I know to be watchful.  The other danger is that I just get a big bag and chuck all the things that don't really have a logical place into the bag.  The bag would then go into a corner and here we go again.

I need to stop writing because all I want to write is one big complaint.  One huge, unpleasant, self-indulgent complaint.  This cleaning chakra must stay open so I can finish, but it won't be today and it won't be tomorrow.  Little by little this mess will disappear or I will.

I REALLY HATE THIS!