Ahhhhh! Winter is coming. In a few weeks we move our clocks back and it will officially be dark for all the hours in which I like to be awake. I realised this morning, as I put on my car headlights, that this actually scares me. Not the dark, though there are all kinds of things that go bump in the night in the dark, but the onset of short days and little sunlight. Will I go into my winter depressions? Will I get SAD (seasonal affected disorder)? I actually like it that my mood swings have an official name, rather than just 'Cynthia is nuts', but I still have trepidation about the approaching gloom.
Last year in December I started writing this blog, as a self-therapeutic tool to deal with my moods. Was it successful? I think so, since I didn't have recourse to go to my GP for a prescription for useless anti-depressants. I also went to Florida for a week during the darkest, shortest days of winter and this must have helped. This year I am not sure that my meager purse will extend to a trip to the sun. We'll see.
I am actually looking forward to autumnal evenings, curled up with my blanket and old movies. This is a new sensation and I will have to give it more attention. Rather than concentrating on my fear of the dark and the madness it brings, I think I will focus on the benefits of having an excuse to stay home and have early nights and hot soups. If that doesn't work, I can always turn to drink. That's a solution I have never entertained!
Right now I am almost totally overcome by exhaustion. I stupidly accepted a work assignment today and at some point, I was so jet-lagged and tired, I almost fell over as I turned round. I will try to remember this for the next time I travel. Don't undertake too much, too soon. Give yourself a chance to recover a bit. You are not super-human, are you? Still, I survived today. My work was fine and most importantly, it's still daylight.
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