Is it a man thing?

Sometimes I have to just sit back and marvel at the pitfalls that my man encounters  and falls into time after time without fail.  After over 40 years of marriage my beloved husband still says some of those things that men should learn in their teens are not appropriate to say to women. 

Let me give you some examples and dare I say it, suggestions for what might be better.

Question:           Do I look fat in this?
Wrong answer:  Not really.
How can this ever be a proper response to a question that should firstly, never be asked, and secondly, should never be answered. There is no right answer to this question and if it must be answered, say 'you look spectacular'.

Question:           Does this dress look OK?
Wrong answer:  It depends on how you define OK.
I cannot even begin to list what is wrong with this answer.  Has he never heard of lying?

Situation: Upon presenting myself at the door, ready to go out - comment from him is 'you're going to wear THAT?!"

Question:           Did you like the sweater I was wearing last night?
Wrong answer:  I didn't notice.
Please clutch at straws here, say yes, say remind me again since you always look good, anything but not noticing.


Question:           Do I look like I've lost a bit of weight?
Wrong answer:  Not sure, turn around, I guess so.
The above question is never asked unless the questioner has actually lost weight! Therefore the correct answer is always YES.

These are little things.  In the big picture of love and marriage they don't actually matter much, but the developing of a thick skin is a necessity when married to an honest man. 

I have two children, a daughter and a son.  My son is too aware of the consequences of wading into these questions that women ask unprepared. He knows that the minefield of self-esteem tied up in these sort of situations is not even worth setting foot into.  Perhaps his generation have more clearly understood that tact is as important as honesty.

As a woman I should have learned that  these sort of questions are not ones that I should be posing, but I just can't help it.  I know they are not even slightly evolved, liberated or spiritual and still I ask. Just as, I imagine,my long-suffering husband can't help telling the truth in response.

Mothers, sisters and daughters everywhere - we have a responsibility to teach our men, young and old, to be complimentary, tactful and a little bit dishonest.  Only then can we relax when they say (in the words of Eric Clapton):

'Darling,  you look wonderful tonight.'
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