Thoughts from the armchair of friendship

I spent today with an old, old friend.  Over 36 years ago this old friend first introduced me to the idea of a guru and was the doorway into a world of extended friendships in London. He became like a brother for me and I miss his not living in London. Over time he moved around- India, America, South Africa and eventually settled in the US.  As I continued to live in London our opportunities to meet were rare and the last time I saw him before today was over 18 months ago.

I was particularly struck today by how wonderful it was to see him.  It doesn't matter at all that there has been this long gap between visits.  It didn't matter that the time before that was two years and before that, much longer.  Every time we meet we take up our conversation as if it was just yesterday that we were briefly interrupted.  It struck me that the feelings of love and care and friendship have never been interrupted and I could happily have sat with him (and his wife, also a dear, if slightly newer friend) for ever.

Our conversations veered from television to therapy, from holidays to horror trips and back and forth and it was as comfortable and warm as an old pair of slippers - familiar and fitting well, if a bit worn and worse for wear.  I so appreciate what my friendships mean to me.  When life gets tough and it has and it will if it is to be of any value, then it is my friends that have pulled me through.  Even if they haven't been the main motivator, and I like to take some of the creedit for moving me on from those difficult places, they have been the companions of my heart, standing at my side and holding my hand.  I hope I do that for my friends.

Last night I was lying in bed and I decided to count the number of close friends I have.  Not acquaintances, but people I feel I could tell the truth to or call on if needed. It's the sort of thing I used to do when I was a kid but haven't done for many years. I counted about 15.  Possibly there are more but that's the number that immediately came to mind.  Not a lot, I thought, for 61 years of life, but actually more than enough if I think about how much I am willing to do for those friends and I believe they would do for me.  There are actually more than that.  If I imagine one of my circle of people hurt or in need, I think there are more people I would drop everything for and run to their side.  Thankfully that's rarely necessary, but I know that I would be there and they would be there for  me.

So, today, slipping on the old shoes of friendship was so sweet and so easy and I've come home feeling a little fire in my heart.  I love that I have the capacity to love and be loved. As I drink my cup of tea, I raise a toast to long life and long friendships.