Time flies when you're having fun...

The first day of November – the first weekday when the clocks are back and the sun sets at 16.30.  The days will continue to get shorter now for the next two months.  Two months. That used to sound so long to me.  Two months was the length of my summer vacation when I was a kid.  School ended at the end of June and we went back at the beginning of September.  When I was young this seemed like forever.  Certainly it was long enough to get bored and wish the summer away. Two months, eight weeks, over 56 days, wow, what an endless length of time and now, well now two months seem to fly by.

As I get older I see that time compresses. Everything goes faster. Days are gone before I have even thought about what to do with them.  Months disappear in the wintry dusk and years, well years pass so effortlessly that I am stunned when I catch my reflection in a mirror and I seem to have aged overnight.  When did my kids grow so old, when did I grow so old?  When did my marriage get so mature? Like old cheese my marriage has reached an incredible point of ripeness.  Like wine, it has aged well and is still sparkling and packs quite a punch.  Forty-one years tomorrow since I left my parents’ apartment in the Bronx to marry this English semi-stranger.  Forty-one years since I walked down the aisle of the synagogue in a super-cool white mini-dress that my dad made for me. Forty-one years since we ran through the streets of Manhattan drunk on someone else’s champagne and the joy of being young, in love and in New York.  Forty-one years since I discovered that the man I had married had a wonderful sense of humour and fun.  Forty-one years since we stole a lifetime’s worth of art supplies from the prestigious architects Ralph worked for. Forty-one years since we both said ‘I do’ and obviously really meant it. It almost seems impossible to contemplate and also feels like just yesterday when I looked into Ralph’s eyes and knew deep in my bones that he was ‘the one’.

Occasionally I have entertained the idea of renewing our vows.  This has become fashionable lately and is often a way of having a great party that perhaps you missed first time round and an excuse to stand up in front of friends and family and re-affirm mutual commitments. My brief fantasies about doing this are not so I can re-commit to the meshuganah I married, that’s guaranteed, but so I can orchestrate another party.  I have fantasies that include enormous cakes, great music, starlight, beautiful surroundings and general Gatsby-ish romantic dreams.  Feh! Not at all what I want to do.

I think the cake fantasy is especially strong today since daylight seemed at such a premium.  I was drawn to my bed and indeed, today I spent only about six hours on my feet.  I slept and slept as if infected by the tse-tse fly of darkness.  And like the tse-tse fly mosquito, my mind refused to settle on anything.  I could not decide what to do and when I looked at the list of things I had to do, I realised I had no motivation to do any of it.  Like a mosquito I flitted from one thing to another and eventually landed in bed.  I slept for three hours this afternoon and vow that in future I’ll find more exciting things to do with my few hours of daylight.

So for tomorrow, my wedding anniversary, I think I’ll go and buy myself some new clothes, make a nice dinner, light some candles and try to stay awake.  Only two more months before the days start getting longer.  It’ll go in the blink of an eye.