Only one more month...

This morning I was driving down the road listening to Krishna Das chanting his little heart out on my tinny iPod.  I was calm and enjoying a rare bit of November sunshine.  I also remembered to notice the world as I drove through it.  Usually it is too easy for me to whiz through different areas and go on to automatic pilot as I drive.  Today I was able to slow down and watch the world a bit as I drove.

It's the cusp of Autumn and Winter.  Some of the trees still have leaves and some look like they are hanging on to the last few scraps of leaf by a swinging thread. The trees still have their wonderful mixed colours of reds, yellows and greens and grey skies only highlighted the few remaining colours left by the chill winds.

London is a dull city.  Not in entertainment and culture.  In those fields it's fantastic, but in terms of the colours of the fabric of the city and the weather.  I also saw it clearly today in the colours of the clothing.  I went shopping for a new handbag.  I probably only have a dozen or so, but I don't have just the right one to use for every day.  While I was in the department store I stopped to look at jackets and jumpers.  Can never have too many of those.  Except you can have too many of them if they're all in varying shades of grey, black and sludge  Rack after rack of wintry, dark, dismal clothing.  I was looking for a colour, something that would bring a bit of brightness into my SAD winter world. A simple bit of clothing that would make me smile, that would pop a bit. No luck today.

When I was walking in my neighbourhood I looked at what people were wearing and basically it was uniformly drab.  What is it with the Brits?  Don't they understand the concepts of 'you are what you eat' and 'you are also what you wear'.  If we all dress as if we are hiding from overhead spy planes, how can we feel even a bit cheered.  I include myself here.  I have commented before about my monochrome wardrobe so I bought a pale blue jumper and a purple cashmmere cardigan.  I now look like an ad for Lands End.  Not sure if this is an improvement, but it is more cheerful.

I got my SAD light out today. No use pretending that I don't need help in surviving the gloom.  I still feel like I am standing on the edge of an enormous, magnetic abyss.  It is so, so tempting to just allow myself to jump over the edge and give in to the depression and exhaustion.  Bad, bad idea.  I have inhabited this dark country before and it is not pretty.  So, here I am, under my light, chanting a bit, listening to music that uplifts me and absolutely consoling myself with the thought that we have only one month to go before the days start getting longer again.

When I think of it in that way, only one more month and then the days start lengthening, it doesn't seem nearly so bad.  I can survive one more month easily.  Piece of cake! Actually not a piece of cake since I'm still on my diet.  Almost seven kilos lost and still going strong.

Message to self and others: Don't forget to congratulate yourself on all those small accomplishments today.  We need all the positive reinforcement we can get.