Tired ramblings of an unfocussed mind...

Just keep on going, even when you are exhausted.  I am getting too old to work at this  pace and yet I know no other pace at which I can do my job.

Training is an interesting thing to have chosen to do for someone who suffers from an inability to take negative criticism.  Trainers are judged to be only as good as the last course they've run.  I hate this constant evaluation process and I am even more upset by the fact that after 25 years of doing this type of work, I am still badly influenced by the occasional bit of negative feedback.  In reality I never get negative feedback, but only slightly less than excellent in the 'ratings'.

Why does one go into this field?  Frustration at not being an actor could be one motivation though for me it's because I still get quite a buzz from working with people.  Almost 40 years ago I started working with people in a more therapeutic setting and I found the reward of seeing people shift in their patterns and feelings so wonderfully alive and rewarding that I carried on doing this.  No longer in a therapy milieu,but now in the corporate world. That, plus the fact that I'm very good at it!

I am now very, very tired.  My 12 hour days are taking a toll.  It's tough to come home and feel that I don't want to talk to anyone, especially when Ralph would like to have even a tiny amount of conversation.  I find I become protective of my quiet space (though the TV and be on) and get increasingly irritated when called upon to engage.

The tiredness makes my mind turn to mush so I feel I am rambling.  The end for now.